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(This piece was originally published at The LStop.org)Within every lesbian community there exists a tale as old as time, a proverb as common as it is contentious: Bi women cheat, betray, and ultimately leave — never for another woman, but for a man.

Like those who flee the tumults of city life for quieter and less complicated pastures, bisexual women may seem destined, in the eyes of gay women, to trade the grit and hardships of queer life for the suburbs of heteroville.

It can feel wildly intimidating to be a little, vulnerable kitten tossed into a teeming cesspool of seasoned dykes.

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But I believe that it’s time to examine the pervasive, inner workings of heterosexual conditioning that, whether any of us in the bisexual community want to admit or not, have doomed so many bisexual/lesbian pairings to failure.

While I understand that I can’t speak for anyone else’s experiences, I’ve written this article with two particular perspectives in mind:1.